Tag Archives: setbacks

Setbacks…

14 Jun

Argh. Elliott has a serious case of the snots. Gross, I know. But this kid’s nose is like a running faucet. You know the kind where you think something you did makes a difference because it momentarily stops leaking. But then you climb into your bed, exhausted, a few nights later and all you hear is the drip drop drip drop of the water? THAT IS ELLIOTT!

We’ve tested his immunology and everything comes back within normal range or borderline low. We give this kiddo every supplement you can think of: Vit. C & D, calcium magnesium, iron (he does have an iron deficiency). elderberry and vegan probiotics, cod liver oil and a multi.

We also started him on some chinese herbs from a new holistic developmental pediatrician, Dr. Stephen Cowan, who is amazing. He really looks at the whole child rather than an individual system. With his help, we did start to see some signs of improvement in the snots. We noticed a strong correlation between his diet and the excessive mucus. Specifically we had to decrease dairy and gluten. In the past, we’d tried elimination diets and reduced diary independently, then gluten. This didn’t make a lick of a difference. Combined, we saw improvement!

But then they came back. It is really hard when we are out and about with gluten being handed out like vitamins at parties, etc. So I’m pretty sure, he got a little too much of gluten. And now our poor little guy is all congested again. I’d say out of everything we deal with, this can be the most frustrating. As a mama, we want to keep our little ones safe, healthy and happy. But there are little setbacks and we just have to plug through and try to conquer them.

And for the record, when I hear the things I say and I completely realize it might sound like I have it all figured out. I am this self reflective person who gives everything to her kiddos. But that is far from the truth! My smile is quite often forced and I am tired. But I refuse to give up or throw in the towel. Because setbacks are just that….setbacks…..they are not the end of the road and there is still another day. And obviously we are talking about more than just snots here. Alexei and I have had a tough life in the 5 short years that we’ve been together. Little things can often feel like final straw, the end of the line.

I found this picture of me rock climbing waaaay before I had kids and it touched me today. Reminded me of a time when I found the space to do what I loved. Rock climbing is like this mental game between you and the wall. There’s nothing stopping you but your own limitations. Whether you get the next rock depends on what you choose to work on and overcome. There was this one path I bouldered in Tallahassee that just kept getting me. I would get to the last rock and fall, over and over again until my butt was bruised. Sometimes I only went back at it because I was so damn angry that I kept falling.

Other times, I went back full of optimism, calm and ready to try again. It didn’t matter how I went back, just that I did. I had to work on areas where I was weak, strengthen my shoulders and fingers. And I had to have patience, something I am really lacking.

As I sit here today, feeling sad and tired, I keep thinking about that course and the day I made it to the last rock. The owner of the rock climbing gym actually left it there longer than he planned (they usually swap them out to keep the climb fresh) because he knew what it meant to me. It took over three weeks and I climbed every single day. But god, when I got that last rock and held on, I soared. So I’ll keep plugging through even if sometimes, I really don’t want to. Because I want to soar again.